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A Phone Reminder Completely Changed the Way I Raise My Children
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A Phone Reminder Completely Changed the Way I Raise My Children

I wanted to start capturing the moments that really matter, says Kirsty (Photo: Sian T Photography)

Last year, when Google alerted me that my account was over 80% full, I have to admit I thought about paying for more storage.

Because, let’s face it, that would have been an easier option than going through my three Gmail accounts and deleting the old ones emails.

However, deep down, I knew that my inboxes (even though they were in desperate need of cleaning…) weren’t the greatest. issue.

It was more the unhealthy way in which I was parenthood My childrenElla, 11 years old, and LionSeven.

I couldn’t stop taking photos of them.

Since they were born, I was a victim of living life through a lens. Capturing every moment on camera from the start, rather than just savoring moments through my eyes, in real time.

When I finally dove into Google Photos, back in September to tackle my “happy-snapping” head-on, I was quite shocked at what awaited me.

Since my photos and videos were backed up for my phone instantly, this meant that alongside all the photos I was happy to back up, the ones I deleted from my phone – some immediately – were still added to Google.

Every shameless attempt at a selfie, every poorly angled photo of a meal, alongside every article I’ve ever uploaded to Vinté; every photo, video, and meme received from family and friends, and apparently, 95 photos, taken at different times, of one of my children sucking on a floret of broccoli as a weaning baby.

There were 95 photos of one of my children sucking on a floret of broccoli while he was weaned (Photo: Kirsty Ketley)

There have been years of photos of my children that I regret I had no memory of taking it, which meant I wasn’t living in the moment properly. In truth, I I didn’t know why I thought I had to document this exact part of their childhood.

A photo of one of them in a supermarket trolley, looking completely hacked – probably sent to my husband to tell him what we were doing at that particular moment, but should we keep it forever? Of course not.

And over the years there were hundreds, if not thousands, of these useless images staring back at me.

I felt a little disconcerted and very overwhelmed. How could I have gotten to this point?

There were years of photos of my children that I unfortunately I had no memory of taking it (Photo: Kirsty Ketley)

And then, not to mention the numerous photos that the children had asked me to take, which had become quite a bad habit. Especially since they would then inspect the photo and order me to take another one if it didn’t meet their expectations.

How sad is this? They are children.

It occurred to me that not only was I wasting valuable time going through and deleting photos, but I was also instilling in my children that they should photograph everything they did.

It just didn’t sit right with me, especially as they get older and social networks is an inevitable part of their lives – I didn’t want them to feel the need to do it. constantly sharing every detail of their lives.

I didn’t want them to fall into the trap of needing likes and flattering photos. to validate their self-esteem.

There were hundreds, if not thousands, of these useless photos (Photo: Kirsty Ketley)

I also didn’t want their childhood memories to be of a camera always pointed at their face, like I was. certain that this could end up having a negative impact on their self-esteem.

Would they feel like they couldn’t just be themselves, because I was chirping “smile” at them? Probably, and they would see it as a form of validation – that mom prefers the way they look when a camera is facing them.

But above all, I really wanted to start savor properly moments with my children.

Don’t get me wrong, I certainly don’t “cherish” every moment with them – that’s impossible – just like I think it’s good to capture certain moments as memories of their childhood, like the times we spent on vacation with friends or the very rare times it snowed.

But they don’t need thousands of photos to remind them.

I wanted to start capturing the moments that really matter. (Photo: Kirsty Ketley/SWNS)

When I think back to my own childhood, in the 80s and early 90s, the photos weren’t digital and it was just a photo of a moment, rather than many.

Half the fun was putting the photos together as they developed to see how they turned out, to see how perfectly imperfect some of the images were. This made them feel much more “real”.

No editing, no filters, and certainly no retakes to make it better.

Like back then, I wanted to start capturing the moments that really matter.

Holidays, first and last days of school, family, friends, vacations…

And now I’ve put measures in place to not only reduce the storage of my photos on Google and my phone, but also to prevent my children from thinking that every aspect of life needs to be documented.

Although I still use Google to store photos, I have turned off auto-save. Every month I check my phone and download whatever I think should be a “keeper”, then every few months I use an app where I can get 45 free prints each month.

It’s nice to display some of the most beautiful moments around the house and is a better way to boost a child’s self-esteem as it can help them feel a sense of belonging. Plus, it’s nice to remember special, fun times together – it’s a nice dose of dopamine.

The kids don’t expect a photo as often now, and me modeling healthier phone use definitely helps Ella use her newly acquired phone in the same way – stopping to think about the value to take a photo, before doing it, and enjoying being. at the moment more.

Leo has gotten into the habit of adopting a “how stupid can I be” attitude, which means that in most of the photos I take he makes a funny face or pose. I suspect it has a lot to do with his age, but I like the fact that he doesn’t care at all about his appearance. That’s good self-esteem right there.

I can now sometimes go a whole month without taking a photo of the children. It’s been hard not to go into “autopilot” mode and take the camera away, as it’s a hard habit to break, but I feel like we’re all better for it – as is my Google storage space.

This article was originally published on August 1, 2024

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