DEAR ABBY:

I am the mother of a 16 year old daughter, “Leia”. She has lived with my parents since she was 10 because that’s what she and my parents wanted at the time. I didn’t want her to do it, but I allowed it to happen because I had health issues. Leia chose to stay there because my parents spoiled her rotten, and they continue to spoil and pamper her. This has made her the most self-centered, demanding, and disrespectful person my parents and I have ever seen, and now they want her to live with me.

I predicted (to myself only) that she would turn out this way because of their “parenting”. My parents created an entitled teenager and now they expect me to suffer the consequences of what they did. They guilt me ​​with their health issues as the reason they want her gone. I don’t want her to come here. I don’t want to have to deal with his attitude and try to stop him from running away. I also don’t want to lose my daughter forever because they kicked her out, but she doesn’t like my periods. What advice do you have? — MOM OF A MONSTER

DEAR MOM:

Your parents took your daughter in because of your health problems. You allowed their poor parenting to continue by allowing your daughter to live with them and not speaking up. Ultimately, Leia is your responsibility until she turns 18, and possibly longer. Your parents must now explain to Leia that due to their poor health, she will stay with you. As a minor, this decision is not hers. (This shouldn’t have been the case in the first place.) When she and her things arrive, explain what YOUR house rules will be and the reasons for them. If she threatens to run away, point out that if that happens she could become a ward of the state and foster care might be less pleasant than staying with the mother who loves her but doesn’t care. not who Leia became while living with her. the big ones.

** ** **

Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or PO Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.

** ** **

For everything you need to know about planning a wedding, order “How to Plan a Beautiful Wedding.” Send your name and mailing address, along with a check or money order for $8 (U.S. funds) to: Dear Abby, Wedding Booklet, PO Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Shipping and handling charges are included in the price.)